Lets face it, improving our people or relationship skills is beneficial to everyone unless you plan on moving to a mountaintop and never interacting with the human race again. I doubt you are planning the latter, so let’s see if we can shed some light on mastering people skills.
Most of my knowledge comes from my 16+ years as a facilitator and coach in the professional and personal growth arena, 29 years as a business owner, manager and partner and 21 years as a husband and a parent. While I have been, and continue to be successful in these areas, it is not without the application of specific relationship tools that I have applied in my daily life. Tools acquired by my own trial and error in addition to experience with my clients whom I train to be more effective at communication.
n my training and coaching practice I am often asked, “how can I be more effective with people?” That’s a pretty broad stroke, yet a valid question for anyone who wants to be more effective in business relationships. My simple answer to this broad question, communication. Fundamental breakdowns in communication are the primary reason companies seek my expertise and when mastered, communication is the key to success in ALL business relationships.
It is pretty common to think of communication as the spoken word. However, the focus of my training on communication is based on external and internal communication skills. While most people can be fairly effective at basic external communication skills, it is the internal communication skills that often fall short. Internal communication encompasses our ability to listen, hear and respond to our own internal dialogue and behaviors rather than being at the mercy of our automatic reactions or emotional responses to an interaction with another person which inevitably causes disasters in business.
So how do you master your internal communication to be more effective in your business relationships? I believe the only way is to shift from a reactive way of communicating to a goal oriented way of communicating. To actually become aware of what and why we are communicating before we engage our mouths. Easier said than done, so I designed a technique called S.T.O.P for my clients to help them become aware and shift whenever they are communicating from a non-productive place. S.T.O.P. is an acronym that stands for; Stop whatever you are doing or communicating that is ineffective. Talk to yourself internally about your ineffective behavior or communication. Observe exactly what isn’t working and Proceed with that information in order to do something different. Realize that if we simply stopped more often as opposed to always being in a hurry, we might save ourselves some pain. I tell my clients, “3 minutes of observation can save you 3 years of aggravation.” If you’re open to a new result, give the S.T.O.P. technique a try in your next tough business interaction and see what happens.
Jeffery Rogers is a successful and sought after seminar instructor, keynote speaker, corporate mentor, coach and owner of BrainStorm. www.brainstormsuccess.com.